If a Tree....
Q: If a tree falls in a forest and no-one is there to hear it, does it make a sound?
A: If the tree falls, it's lumber.
Q: If your baby cries all day. All day for no reason. Is it still human, or should you call Animal Control?
A: I found the number for Animal Control in the blue pages of the phone book. They couldn't hear me over the unidentified mammal wailing.
Q: Why is it that it's so unacceptable to Go Postal and it's quite OK to Go FedEx?
A: I'm not sure, but when I'm through with Being Postal, I'm Going FedEx. It won't be acceptable after I go that route, I promise.
Q: Why is it that your older child can make your younger child giggle so darned cute? Why is it that the full-bellied laughs they give each other are the best moments to witness on earth?
A: Doesn't matter why. Stop that useless peeing on the potty alone while you have a chance. This is more fun, enjoy! You can clean the puddle up later.
Q: Who holds the world's record for saying "I love you" to a child?
A: Me. Hands down. Me, me, me. Giving kisses too. Surprised? Yeah, it's me! I fooled you into slacking-off, and got ahead. You've got a lot of catching up to do. Now go!
A: If the tree falls, it's lumber.
Q: If your baby cries all day. All day for no reason. Is it still human, or should you call Animal Control?
A: I found the number for Animal Control in the blue pages of the phone book. They couldn't hear me over the unidentified mammal wailing.
Q: Why is it that it's so unacceptable to Go Postal and it's quite OK to Go FedEx?
A: I'm not sure, but when I'm through with Being Postal, I'm Going FedEx. It won't be acceptable after I go that route, I promise.
Q: Why is it that your older child can make your younger child giggle so darned cute? Why is it that the full-bellied laughs they give each other are the best moments to witness on earth?
A: Doesn't matter why. Stop that useless peeing on the potty alone while you have a chance. This is more fun, enjoy! You can clean the puddle up later.
Q: Who holds the world's record for saying "I love you" to a child?
A: Me. Hands down. Me, me, me. Giving kisses too. Surprised? Yeah, it's me! I fooled you into slacking-off, and got ahead. You've got a lot of catching up to do. Now go!
posted by Mrs. Oblivious at 11:16 PM
5 Comments:
smooch smooch smooch - I'm trying to catch up.
I much prefer to go UPS than FedEx, but either is acceptable
you're funny.
but i think you're confused about who's in the lead on the whole "i love you" and kisses thing.
that's okay, i'll let it slide this one time. just don't let it happen again.
kisses to you! (got ya!)
...GONE!
You are very very silly. Thank you for the giggles. They weren't nearly as cute as kid giggles, but I liked them anyway.
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