New House Rule
For now on.....
No matter who you are. No matter how old or what sex or how long you have known the family, or what amount of distance you live across the street when you fired-up your weed-eater, or what continent you live on across the phone wires when you called during naptime.......
If you wake up the baby.........
You will immediately grow lactating boobs, purge your system of any harmful medications or skin creams and certain foods that bother the baby, pick up the baby, and nurse him back to sleep. After 7 months of doing this myself, it's your turn. Immediately drop whatever you were in the middle of doing, you now have to figure out how to do that during the allotted time that you don't have to allot. Just like I do. You broke it, you fix it. I had that baby asleep.
And furthermore, depending on the severity of the the infraction incurred when you woke up said baby.....if you deserve it.....a three year old will SuperHero-jump-plunge himself into your chest, nailing you in the breast department. As a lactating beast, you will discover that this hurts like a mofo. And it has hurt like a mofo for seven. freaking. months.
Posted By:
Mommy During a Recent Meltdown
No matter who you are. No matter how old or what sex or how long you have known the family, or what amount of distance you live across the street when you fired-up your weed-eater, or what continent you live on across the phone wires when you called during naptime.......
If you wake up the baby.........
You will immediately grow lactating boobs, purge your system of any harmful medications or skin creams and certain foods that bother the baby, pick up the baby, and nurse him back to sleep. After 7 months of doing this myself, it's your turn. Immediately drop whatever you were in the middle of doing, you now have to figure out how to do that during the allotted time that you don't have to allot. Just like I do. You broke it, you fix it. I had that baby asleep.
And furthermore, depending on the severity of the the infraction incurred when you woke up said baby.....if you deserve it.....a three year old will SuperHero-jump-plunge himself into your chest, nailing you in the breast department. As a lactating beast, you will discover that this hurts like a mofo. And it has hurt like a mofo for seven. freaking. months.
Posted By:
Mommy During a Recent Meltdown
posted by Mrs. Oblivious at 11:23 AM
8 Comments:
Oh man, that is the absolute WORST. That used to happen to me all the time and finally I just decided to turn my ringer off and the volume down. I hardly ever answer my phone anymore. People who need to reach me now call my cell phone, which I live on vibrate. :)
Oops, that should have said "leave" on vibrate....
Uh...YEAH. Especially dumbasses who do not respect the differences in time zones and call way WAY *WAY* after bedtime.
uh-huh! in the middle of a WELL NEDDED and WELL DESERVED nap this afternoon. when the guy responsible for the extra chromosome busts in and informs me the baby is awake.
mmmmmmmmmmmkay? thanks. so i say, "this will come back to you later, you do realize this, don't you? so when i'm chewing your head off because i've lost all ability to be rational, it's your own damn fault!"
with you completelty on this one! seems we melt the same you and me. get a little bitchy do we? hell yes!
My ringer gets turned off at naptime too...but then I have those people that get their panties all in a wad and want to know why on earth I would do that...?!?!?!?!?!
OH!
That stuff used to tick me off.
I wish you sanity - where ever that may be (I still can't seem to find mine)
Wow. Since posting this, no-one has had the audacity to wake up the baby. lol.
*see man ducking and hidding in the garage fixing something anything for days at a time*
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