Oh, the Things That You Will Google
Oh, the things that you will google as a parent. Like every color of poop imaginable. Or will a watermelon grow in my son's tummy if he swallows a seed? Really goofy stuff, half of which you probably know the answer to if you just listen to yourself. But, alas.
My latest parental surfing on the internet began with this on my shirt:
Is that a failed home craft project where most of the beads came off in the wash? Is it a failed tie-dye? Is it permanent marker made by Mr. Preschool on Mommy's favorite shirt? Did the baby sneeze food all over Mommy? Is it blood from Mommy biting her lip to keep her from muttering half of the things she is tempted to say?
If you guessed the baby sneezing, you were close. He has done that to me, too. But lately, he is into blowing raspberries during feeding time.....sometimes. Just when I thought he's wasn't going to do it again, without warning, I got sprayed with bananas/plums/grapes. While biting my lip, I started wondering what Moms without a washer in the house do - how long do they have to wait to get to the laundromat? And I started wondering what people in other countries do who don't have the same amenities? Then I drifted into wondering if babies blow raspberries in other cultures anyway, when exposed to any language?
So, I googled something like "babies raspberries all cultures". The first tip I got was that a raspberry was a bilabial trill, which perhaps was also the "Bronx Cheer". But I got confused because there were other trills. There was a coronal trill, a uvular trill, and an alveolar trill. There were symbols for the trill in the International Phonetic Alphabet. There were symbols for the trill in sheet music.
I was sure the answer was in there somewhere, but it had gone too far. Suddenly, I didn't care. The only thing that mattered was what I knew when I listened to myself. I knew that it didn't matter where or when or how many babies made raspberries or trills or spit-ups or sneezes because my babies did and do it all much cuter. So, off I went to watch the kids being cute. End of googling.
Now, from experience, if I had been googling green, brown, yellow, red-tinged, or orange poop, I'd still be surfing. Trust me, I've done it. I've never googled purple poop, though. But, I can tell you this:
I never saw purple poop,
I never hope to see it.
But I can tell you anyhow,
I'd rather not see it
Or google it.
My latest parental surfing on the internet began with this on my shirt:
Is that a failed home craft project where most of the beads came off in the wash? Is it a failed tie-dye? Is it permanent marker made by Mr. Preschool on Mommy's favorite shirt? Did the baby sneeze food all over Mommy? Is it blood from Mommy biting her lip to keep her from muttering half of the things she is tempted to say?If you guessed the baby sneezing, you were close. He has done that to me, too. But lately, he is into blowing raspberries during feeding time.....sometimes. Just when I thought he's wasn't going to do it again, without warning, I got sprayed with bananas/plums/grapes. While biting my lip, I started wondering what Moms without a washer in the house do - how long do they have to wait to get to the laundromat? And I started wondering what people in other countries do who don't have the same amenities? Then I drifted into wondering if babies blow raspberries in other cultures anyway, when exposed to any language?
So, I googled something like "babies raspberries all cultures". The first tip I got was that a raspberry was a bilabial trill, which perhaps was also the "Bronx Cheer". But I got confused because there were other trills. There was a coronal trill, a uvular trill, and an alveolar trill. There were symbols for the trill in the International Phonetic Alphabet. There were symbols for the trill in sheet music.
I was sure the answer was in there somewhere, but it had gone too far. Suddenly, I didn't care. The only thing that mattered was what I knew when I listened to myself. I knew that it didn't matter where or when or how many babies made raspberries or trills or spit-ups or sneezes because my babies did and do it all much cuter. So, off I went to watch the kids being cute. End of googling.
Now, from experience, if I had been googling green, brown, yellow, red-tinged, or orange poop, I'd still be surfing. Trust me, I've done it. I've never googled purple poop, though. But, I can tell you this:
I never saw purple poop,
I never hope to see it.
But I can tell you anyhow,
I'd rather not see it
Or google it.
posted by Mrs. Oblivious at 4:21 PM
2 Comments:
I'd rather not see what you got from a search on "purple poop" either. I bet it'd be pretty gross!
I often get a laugh when I see what people have googled to end up on my site, but then I find MYSELF googling the weirdest things and I realize that I'm one of the WEIRDOs that I laugh at all the time. ha!
Someone once goggled midget porn and got to my site. So I spent two days going through my blog looking for it. All I found was the word midget and the word porn(in many many places). But no midget porn. I wonder what they thought about my blog?
Now being the father of 2 boys and one on the way I have learn to except the fact all of that I own will be dirty, scratched and or damaged in someway by these heaven sent devils. It just stuff, and they are worth more than of my lovely material things anyway.
That is what I say over and over to myself everytime they break something of mine that i really wanted to remain intacted. "Its all just stuff and these bundles of spongey joy are my whole reason fir living" now repeat 100 time because if u dont you might just tie them up with duct tape and mail them off the satan clause for xmass.
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