I Wouldn't Smooch the Hooch

I don't get it. I have no lesbo thoughts about Angelina Jolie. And if I did have have lesbo thoughts, well, she just wouldn't be my choice of lesbo. No offense.

Furthermore, I don't want Hoochie Mama Lips. Maybe she was born with them, but I don't get the desire to go out and hooch up your lips. I don't want to look like I've just visited the letters J and B and not in that order. (Errrr, not that I would know what that does to your embouchement.)

Anyway, here are my before and after shots thanks to an online site I found where you upload your photo for virtual enhancements. This would be me with collagen injections.

Before:

After:

I would totally get arrested for prostitution if I did that to myself.