Too Much Childhood TV Leads to ADHDD

Adult Dumbs Herself Down Daily

I’m so tired of hearing about Miffy, everyone is always saying “what a cute little bunny”, “sweet little bunny”, “smart little bunny” she is. Miffy’s an albino blonde bitch.

Cookie Monster………it’s about time someone nailed your blue, furry carcass to the wall. You never said “Mmmmmm, broccoli” in my day. I’ve had thousands of dollars of dental work done thanks to you. You’ll be seeing my attorney in the near future.

Dora the Explorer needs to explore another outfit. Pink and orange? And quit yakking about mixing choc-o-lat-tay and going for ice cream, my kid was eating pretzels until you brought that crap up.

Telly is majorly neurotic and in bad need of Prozac. Chill Telly, chill.

Why is Baby Bear’s newborn sister Curly Bear twice as big as Baby Bear?

Ever notice that Elmo sets-up the town idiot for failure, then makes fun of him? And everyone says he’s so damned sweet.

Ernie is always singing about his rubber “duckie”. Uh-huh. No wonder Bert dances like a pigeon.

Dora's Map.......I get it. You're the map. Please don't say it again. And just so you'll know, they make Ex-Lax for the turd, that by the sound of your voice, you can't quite squeeze out of your bum.

LazyTown………where is it and what are the current housing prices? And how to we get rid of that Sportacus nuisance?

Where the hell is Kermit? I’d rather hear him do the news than Katie Couric any day.

Rubbadubbers. Heh. Ernie’s friends, I surmise. I’ve never seen it. Must be on at 3:00 a.m. on HBO.

Pinky Dinky Doo, my favorite. I love a show that teaches my preschooler to yell repeatedly, “EAT IT”!